What Does It Mean to Be Thoughtfully Fit? Starting with Flexibility
Today I’m super excited to bring you a peek into an amazing new book written by one of the wisest, most insightful, kind, and inspiring people I know, Darcy Luoma. Her book, Thoughtfully Fit: Your Training Plan for Life & Business Success, not only teaches her Thoughtfully Fit model, in it, she shares her heart-breaking and gut-wrenching story of her husband’s arrest. Darcy talks about how her family and her life depended on her ability to hold it all together, despite her world falling apart. Luckily, she had her Thoughtfully Fit framework to guide her through the worst crisis of her life.
In this tip, I’ll focus on Chapter 11 and the practice of Flexibility: Stretching for Acceptance.
“I chose to accept people wherever they were in their thinking about John–though it wasn’t always easy or my first instinct–and I chose to accept their reactions to his arrest. That’s Flexibility. I didn’t want to waste energy trying to change anyone’s mind or being angry at them. By accepting them just as they were, even if I didn’t understand or agree, I saved myself unnecessary frustration.”
Darcy points out that it’s easy to accept others when we agree with them. But when we practice acceptance even when we disagree, we have more energy to invest in things that matter most to us; we waste less energy in negative emotions that serve no purpose.
If acceptance feels too hard, Darcy suggests at least accepting that we can’t change them. It might mean we need to set new boundaries and adjust how we interact with them. The key is to focus on those things we can control like our reaction to their behavior instead of how we think they should behave.
The chapter includes a summary that Flexibility is:
- Letting go of judgment
- Accepting others as they are
- Focusing on what’s in your control
Darcy includes a series of questions for reflection, including:
- How is my judgment of this other person affecting me?
- What’s the cost of accepting or not accepting this person?
- If it’s too hard, can I at least accept that I can’t change them?
Consider how these questions can help you stay flexible with other people this week.