Are You Nicer to Your Coworkers than Your Family?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to let your stress and frustration out when you get home after trying to hold it together during the day at work or school?

Or maybe you see it in others. They feel like they can let their guard down once they get home.

Unfortunately, sometimes, this means our family and loved ones take the brunt of our bad mood. Instead of trying to be nice, we let it all out. Maybe we’re snippy or impatient. I know I’ve been guilty. And I’ve heard others admit that, at times, they’re nicer to their coworkers than they are to their partner, kids, or even their parents.

Why does this happen, and what we can do? Here are some possibilities.

• Work environments often require professionalism and politeness, while these expectations may be relaxed at home.
• We feel much more emotionally safe and unconditionally accepted by our family, so we don’t try to suppress negative emotions as much.
• Work stress and emotional fatigue can build up, and we release this pent-up tension when we get home.
• We take our relationships with our family for granted, while we work harder at our work relationships if we feel they are important for our success.
• Sometimes, past experiences with our family members can create triggers, where certain comments can put us on the defensive. It can become an automatic reaction where we say things we may regret.

If you can relate, here are a couple of suggestions that might make things better.

• Practice being more aware of your emotions and learn to choose your response instead of reacting to family. (Pause, Notice, Choose)
• Find ways to mentally transition between work and home so you arrive in a better mood.
• Be sure to charge your positivity battery with things like hobbies, music, pets, friends, funny videos, getting outside, etc.
• Talk openly with your family about your feelings and stress to foster understanding and support.
• Be sure to apologize if you do get impatient.

My relationships with my family are so important to me!! Once I truly appreciated this, it was easier for me to be more understanding and patient. I’m far from perfect, but I do feel that I’ve improved. Now, I try to remind myself how much I love them before I open my mouth…