Appreciating the dents and scratches – No one is perfect

 In Better Life, Relationships

My daughter has had the same stuffed ducky since her baby shower before she was born.  She has slept with it every night for the past 10 year.  It is worn, faded, and has a few holes, but she would never want it replaced with a new one.  She loves its imperfections.  It’s exactly the way it’s suppose to be.

What if we could feel the same way about the imperfections in the people in our lives?   Wouldn’t it be nice if we could accept and love them just the way they are despite the bruises and damage from the wear and tear of their experiences in life?  Despite their sensitivities from the hurts and betrayals?  We may think they make bad decisions about their relationships, their money, or their life in general.  We may feel they’re too sensitive, too self-centered, too driven or too laid back.  It’s always easier to see what other people should do different than it is to use that same energy to work on improving ourselves  even when we know that no one is perfect, including us.

Try an experiment.  Just for fun, choose someone in your life that is easy for you to criticize.  Decide that you are going to accept their imperfections; that they are exactly who they are suppose to be.  This doesn’t mean you have to agree with or like their behavior or attitude.  You are just appreciating that they are a fellow human being who has some dents and scratches from being banged up in life.  Remember this thought every time you interact with them.  After a few times, notice how you feel and how they respond.  Has anything changed?

This approach can even be helpful to apply to people we don’t interact with in our daily lives because they live far away or because they’re no longer with us.  Try it any time you think about them and see if you notice a change.


Tina Hallis, Ph.D. is a professional speaker and consultant for The Positive Edge.  She uses science to help people shift the way they think so they can achieve more success in their work and in their lives.  

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