You're Driving Me Crazy!

Relationships are very important for our happiness, but they can also be a major challenge. Ever notice how once we tune into something that bugs us about a person, pretty soon everything they do starts to bug us? This can really become a problem when that person is someone we live with, like our partner! Maybe they leave their dirty clothes on the floor, or maybe they nag us about seemingly unimportant things (like leaving our dirty clothes on the floor). Maybe we feel like they don’t appreciate all that we do. Whatever the issue, it can take over our thoughts and pretty soon all we see is the imperfections in the other person. Studies show that the best antidote is to make a list of all their good attributes. Writing them down is the most powerful way to train our brain to notice the positive. Start with small points at first if necessary. Maybe they are good at shoveling snow, or taking the dog for a walk, or paying the bills. Once we start, it will open our minds to bigger areas we appreciate; perhaps their sense of humor, their patience or their generosity. So instead of focusing on that flaw, realize none of us are perfect, and take a step back to see the whole person.