Do You Hate Asking for Help? Here are some reasons to change
Do you hate asking for help?
Today I was thinking about two very dear friends in my life. One has a much easier time asking for help compared to the other.
I get it. I don’t like to bother people. I don’t want people to think I’m taking advantage of our friendship. And I feel like I should just do things myself; be independent. I don’t want to be seen as incompetent or weak.
But here’s what I’ve learned from my friend who’s provided more opportunities for me to help her.
- She freely offers her help so others feel more comfortable asking her for help. They know she enjoys helping others.
- We’ve had some great times together when I’m “helping.” We can have fun while getting stuff done.
- I feel valued and special when she asks me for help. I feel like she trusts me and sees me as a helpful person.
- I feel more comfortable asking her for help. I struggle with this, so she makes it easier for me by asking first.
- I’ve been able to learn firsthand how much easier things can be when I ask for help. We can make more progress and achieve greater goals when we have help.
Studies show that helping others can boost our mood and wellbeing. But if we’re afraid to ask for help or refuse help when others offer it, we are withholding this opportunity for them. We are also limiting our own potential and the impact we can make by struggling to do it all ourselves.
The idea of asking for help applies at work, too. According to Professor Wayne Baker at the University of Michigan Ross School of Business and a faculty member of the Center for Positive Organizations, “It seems like leaders are always lamenting the lack of cooperation and collaboration in their organizations. But more often than not, the culprit isn’t their employees’ unwillingness to give others a hand — it’s the fact that most people simply don’t, or won’t, ask for help.”
Right now, take a moment to consider if there’s something you could use help with. Who could you ask? Is there someone that could use your help?
