How Are Your “Stuck at Home” Relationships?
Many of us have been living in close quarters with some of our family for several weeks now. After a while, even people we love and enjoy can get on our nerves, especially when we’re feeling excessive stress. Misunderstandings or differences in opinions can erupt into arguments or hurt feelings. Has this happened to you?
These past several weeks I’ve had a few opportunities to use some of the great insights I learned while developing my online course on how to build our immunity to people’s negativity. Life is so much easier when I remember to use the “Pause, Notice, Choose” steps! And I’ve seen what happens when I just react. Yikes!
I’ve found this approach not only works great in the moment (like when my daughter is upset with me but doesn’t want to talk about it), it’s also handy when I’m telling myself a story about the other person. For example, my husband and I had a disagreement about how to train our dog. Later, I paused and noticed that I had some interesting stories in my head. I noticed that my ego wanted me to be right. I also noticed that I expected him to be mad and want to prove me wrong.
I finally made it to the “choose” step and thought about what would make the situation better. I realized it wasn’t about who was wrong or right; it was about acknowledging that we’re both human. The most important thing was our love for each other and the strength of our relationship. Once I made this “internal choice,” it was easier to find the right words to convey how I felt.
If you’re struggling with your “stuck at home” relationships, consider trying pausing, noticing, and then choosing the best response. Here are some tips for practicing this approach on the easy stuff.